I am so overwhelmed right now and stressed. I wish I could hide for the next 2 weeks. I am studying for an exam and if I pass I will be accepted to grad school. If I don't pass then I'm not accepted to the school. It is so the best thing right now for us. We really need to get away.
I feel like I'm shutting down emotionally and am not sure what to do about it. Is it the birth control pills? I am sad all the time, but the cleansing tears finally fell tonight. It could be from all the stress but I think the real reason is fresh memories. I'm currently staying at my grandparents house with the responsibility of being my grandma's caregiver. I was doing that same thing when I got pregnant.
I so wish I could hold my daughter in my arms right now or go and look at her sleeping in her crib. Instead, I have her hospital blanket on my lap because that is the only thing I have of her.... So, I hope I can get into school. I hope it goes fast because I cannot wait to get off these pills and try to get pregnant. I have no idea what the future holds right now, but I'm really hoping that God will be merciful to me. Please let me pass my math exam.
Thursday, February 25, 2010
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About Me
- KimmiKay
- I met my husband in Ukraine while on a trip to Zaporozhye Bible College; I was still in high school. We married five years later on October 2nd, 2004. At 25 weeks pregnant, we found out that our precious daughter's heart had stopped beating. She was born still two days later on May 8, 2009. Dasha now has a little sister, Alina, who was born June 24, 2011. She is such a blessing and I am overwhelmed with thankfulness and awe. While pregnant, I completed an intense Masters program to earn my teaching degree. I am eagerly awaiting the time when I can start teaching. I'm a small town girl who has big dreams while living an ordinary life.